i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Actions speak louder than pants.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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