Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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