While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
