My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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