I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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