you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
