You made me cry and you don't even care
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
