Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
