I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
