IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm passing your future prison.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize
