Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
