I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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