she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
