A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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