You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
