we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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