Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
