i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
My feet surprised me
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