I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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