She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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