Plan B is the new Plan A
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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