I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
