I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
