how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
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