Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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