The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
