is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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