remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
