But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
