she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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