So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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