So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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