I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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