he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
