I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
