Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
