I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
YAS. BRING CRAB.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
