My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
