I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
