fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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