She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
