Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
