i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize