he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
