So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
