hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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