im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize