told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize