why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
sex in a hospital.. check
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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