You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
