hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I cannot find my penis.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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