have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
