so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
