Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
