A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
