Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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