just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
