Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
There's always time for handjobs
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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