lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
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