I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize