We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
