i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
